Wednesday, May 24, 2006


I stood at my balcony, holding a glass, half filled with red wine. My face was flushed red as this was my tenth serving of wine. I tilted the glass a little and a drop of red wine blended in with the heavy rain and dropped onto the cold, cement ground. I looked down from my balcony and spotted a couple cuddling each other under an umbrella and seemed so affectionate. I immediately slumped onto the renaissance velvet divan. My lips trembled a little and tears slowly made their way down my cheeks. At first, there were only a few drops of tears, but slowly, more and more started flowing out, like a running tap and I had no means of stopping it. I smashed the glass of wine on the floor aggressively and my hands were clutching my chest. Why is my heart aching so much? Why?

Images of him started flashing through my mind like a movie and the memories we once shared were replaying. "Ahhhh!" I shouted with all my might and started spanking my head pugnaciously. "You fucking get out of my mind! I want you out! Out! Out!" I was sobbing harder than before. My heart was aching worse than before. Then, I fell to my knees. "I cannot stand it anymore." I mumbled under my breath and brandished a craft knife, then started slashing my wrist. Blood was gushing out. I can't feel any pain. I'm already numb. The pain that he had afflicted on me is nothing compared to this. Nothing.

I collapsed to the ground and my breathing got harder and harder.

You promised to love me forever. You promised that you'd never leave. You told me that without me, your life would be incomplete. All these were just fraudulence.

I love you baby. I really do.

2:04 PM
Cartoon KAT-TUN II You <3